what to say in a suicide sympathy card

Carly is an artist and therapist who likes to write content that helps others alive mindfully.

Find advice on what to write in a sympathy carte for different situations, equally well as what not to write.

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What to Write

Sympathy cards are the most significant cards given and received, for they honour the life of a loved one and offer comfort to a dearest friend. Those who are grieving detect solace in them. The starting time time the bill of fare is opened, it offers thoughtful empathy to soothe the pain of loss. Unlike other cards for other occasions, this is the carte du jour that might be read over and over again. When the bereaved are seeking comfort late at night or when no one else is available to offering a empathetic ear, this card will offer consolation.

Grief and loss are not limited to the funeral. The grief procedure lasts a lifetime. What you write in a sympathy card is important because it tin offer comfort whenever the bereaved needs it, time and time again.

This article offers suggestions on what to write in a sympathy card for the following situations:

• When Y'all Knew the Deceased
• When You Did Non Know the Deceased
• For the Loss of a Child
• For the Loss of a Mother or Male parent
• When the Death Was a Suicide

It as well offers advice on what not to write, whether yous should include money in a sympathy card, and what else you can do to support the grieving family. Examples of bill of fare inscriptions are included as well.

When You Knew the Deceased

Showtime, address the family members who the card is beingness given to. (If you forget, the names are normally spelled correctly in the obituary, or you can phone call the funeral domicile or church building to aid with spelling.)

• Dear Jenny,
• Dearest Joan'due south children,
• Michael,

Inside the card, apply the deceased person'south proper name. You volition not injure the families' feelings by acknowledging what they are already feeling and talking about, and avoiding the obvious makes everyone experience uneasy. You lot are acknowledging a life at present gone, there is no skirting around it. The bereaved know this and demand it to exist acknowledged and honored.

• Martha will be missed.
• The world volition not be the aforementioned without Tony.
• Serena could light up any room, and I volition miss her vibrant personality.
• Eager was an incredible friend to our family.

Write well-nigh a personal retention or a personality trait that fabricated the person special and remarkable. This will help the bereaved connect to their loved i. Memories aid. For instance, if you lot were a good friend to the adult female 40 years ago, when you send a letter to her children, you will know something almost their mother they may not retrieve or even know. It may be comforting to read that their mother used to be the life of the party, for example, or that she used to bake excellent chocolate scrap cookies.

It is besides comforting to know that the loved one volition not be forgotten. Assure the bereaved that yous will recall. For instance you tin say, "I volition ever call up Mike's ability to help others out. Dorsum in 2010, the winter in Michigan was fell. It was Mike, your dad, who came out in the middle of the night to help me jump start my car. His goodness volition not be forgotten."

When You Did Not Know the Deceased

Sometimes, you will write a card for the decease of a person you've never met before. The bill of fare is for the bereaved (your friend, a co-worker, or a church building or group member perhaps), and sending a bill of fare acknowledging what they are going through, even if yous did non know the deceased, is a compassionate and supportive thing to practice.

Here are a few suggestions:

• "Dena, I want to acknowledge the loss of your blood brother. I can't imagine what you must exist going through now. Know that I am hither for y'all and belongings you lot tight in my thoughts and prayers."
• "Dave, I didn't have the chance to meet your female parent, but knowing you she must accept been very special for she raised such a wonderful homo who is my friend."
• "I am and so deeply moved to hear that your male parent died over the weekend. You lot are not alone in your loss, for I am here for you equally a friend."

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For the Loss of a Child

A death of a child does not make sense. Even if the child had an illness and the family was aware that the death would happen, that still does not ease the pain. Even if the child had already grown up, a parent's pain is no less profound.

Here are some suggestions for what to write within a sympathy card to the parents whose child died:

• Add a memory of the child or state characteristics of the child you will always remember.
• Acknowledge the death. If you cannot admit information technology then the parents will know you are someone they cannot talk to (because decease makes y'all feel uncomfortable).
• Offer comfort.
• Offering ways to exist supportive of the family, especially if they have other children to look later on.

Examples:

• "Brianna was such a joy to be around. Her infectious laughter always brought a grinning to my face when I remember her being giddy effectually her girlfriends."
• "I can never expect at a red truck and not think of Noah. He e'er had his ruby-red truck in his hands. I retrieve when he left his truck at my house ane time, and I knew I had to return information technology that night or he wouldn't get to bed. When I see red trucks I volition always smile, thinking of Noah."
• "My son Steven will miss his buddy, Luke. The boys always played so well together. I enjoyed having Luke over at my house; he was always so polite and had interesting things to say. Luke had a meaning positive influence on Steven. His memory and personality touched us all deeply, just Steven most of all. I feel that Luke's influences will live on in Steven for the rest of his life."
• "Tara will never be forgotten."
• "I do not have the words to say how sorry I am to hear that A.J. died. A baby dying of SIDS does not make sense. I can't imagine the pain you must exist going through. Your baby will never exist forgotten. Though she was here a short while, her memory will last a lifetime."

For the Loss of a Female parent or Father

Losing a parent is one the most significant, painful things a person tin endure. No affair what the age the kid is, losing a parent is never easy. Developed children tin exist significantly affected by the expiry of their parent. Even as adults, they are even so their parent's kid. Those grieving the death of a parent may feel a wide range of emotions including sadness, regret, acrimony, relief, and abandonment. Writing a sympathy card for the loss of a parent tin can be a powerful gesture of comfort.

Here are some examples of what to write when someone has lost their parent:

• "Your mom was such an astonishing, beautiful woman. I always admired your family from afar and that has a lot to practice with your female parent. Knowing her has made me a better person."
• "Although your father was quiet and kept to himself, his presence on this world will be significantly missed. He was a quiet saint, always doing kind things for others without wanting recognition. He has inspired me to be a better, more than giving person."
• "This town will never exist the aforementioned without your mother. She was the life, the joy, the humor, and the grace of this community. Her legacy will live on with laughter by the jokes she told me over and over again. Like this joke . . . "
• "If every daughter had a dad like yours, we would all feel and so loved. He was a role model that I hope more fathers could exist like. I remember how he treasured and doted on you, his special daughter. His honey will always be a function of you."
• "Our parents exercise not need to be perfect in order for us to miss them. I know this is a complicated fourth dimension of grieving your mother (father). We often grieve what we did non receive from them equally the aforementioned fourth dimension we grieve what we did receive."

When the Death Was a Suicide

Suicides do not make sense. The bereaved are left with a m cleaved shards and sometimes a huge brunt of guilt and blame. Many people might avert sending or writing annihilation to a family who is reeling from suicide, simply these families also need support and condolences. Taking the time to find a bill of fare and write a note can exist extremely benign to their grief process.

Here are some ideas to help ease the pain (remember to e'er acknowledge the name of the person who is deceased):

• "I am so, then sorry to hear well-nigh Ava'south death. I cannot imagine the turmoil and pain you lot must be going through."
• "John was such an amazing young human. This is an unbearable tragedy, and I am hither for you to talk whenever you need to."
• "Today does non brand sense, tomorrow probably won't either, merely the hurting of this tragedy will not always injure as bad as it does today."

Suggested Phrases

• Thinking of you lot, wishing you hope in the mist of sorrow, comfort in the midst of pain.
• Wishing you lot hope and peace during this difficult fourth dimension.
• Remembering with yous, the life of your precious son.
• Holding you close in my thoughts and prayers.
• I am thinking of yous and your family at this difficult time.
• Call back that I love and intendance well-nigh you tremendously.
• Words seem inadequate to express the sadness I feel virtually Serena's death.
• I am here to support you in your grieving process.
• (Name of deceased) brought so many gifts to our life. We will never forget him.
• May your heart and soul find peace and comfort.
• Peace, Prayers and Blessings.

Examples

Honey Paige,

I am deeply moved to hear your husband died. I want to accomplish out to you and say you lot are not alone in this time of grief. Simply know you lot are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. If my hu yard could take some of the pain away, I would agree you tight until you felt a scrap better.

Please have my heartfelt condolences,

Tina

Honey Chris,

Words cannot adequately express my feelings of sorrow on hearing the death of your wife. You and your children are beingness held in my prayers and center. I would be happy to picket the children any time when you just demand space to grieve for yourself. No ane could always replace Martha, she was a dear friend and an amazing female parent. Her mothering and love volition not end for she is in each of your children, in their thoughts and especially in their hearts. Her love and wisdom will guide them the rest of their lives. I know this to be true, because I can still hear Martha'south laughter and I continued to be touched by her friendship that in some unique way is giving me comfort now.

I will call you lot in a week to check on you lot and your family unit and too coordinate a expert time for me to stop by one evening. I would like to bring over a dinner for all of yous and maybe take the kids out for water ice cream so you can have an hour or then pause.

With deepest sympathy,

Julie

Dear Lana,

Your begetter was such an amazing human and a pleasance to be around. I remember when he took u.s.a. on holiday that one summertime. We had so much fun together, and I was deeply in awe watching how much he loved you and your sisters. You lot are in my deepest thoughts. Your begetter will exist truly missed. Peachy men similar your dad are rare.

We are here for you day or nighttime whenever you need us. I have enclosed a gift card to Olive Garden. I know Italian food was your dad's favorite. May you enjoy his memory at dinner. I regret living so far away that I tin can't take you out, merely know I am ever a telephone call away. I will phone call to cheque on you in a few weeks when the funeral preparations take subsided.

Your friend always,

Trina

Love Jennifer,

Knowing when someone is going to die does not arrive whatever easier when information technology happens. I know your mother had been struggling with her cancer for months, and I know how very difficult this time must exist for you now. If I could soothe your pain with words of comfort and love, I would say, your female parent is no longer in hurting and experiencing the trauma cancer tin bring onto someone. She is at rest and at peace. She is perfect in every style in the God's encompass.

I will always recall her as vibrant and full of life. Recollect when she wore that bright orangish scarf with her greenish shirt. We all had a skilful laugh considering she loved to wear colors only could never seem to match. Today, in honor of your mother I am wearing bright mismatched colors. I hope to bring laughter to those who see me today, because in reality it is her inspiration that will bring laughter to people who see me today. Your female parent's spirit will not dice with her body. She volition go along to touch and evoke laughter from me for years to come as I will call back her fondly.

Remembering your female parent in dearest, light and much laughter,

Bridget

What Not to Write

• I empathise how yous experience. (Mostly everyone dislikes when someone says this. No one can truly sympathise how some other feels.)
• It was her time. (For the bereaved it never seems like the correct time.)
• God needed her. (Then do the people still on earth. This statement does not always offer the pity in the intent information technology is offered. Peculiarly if it is a parent to a child, the kid still very much needs a parent.)
• It is for the all-time. (The best for who? It is hard when you are in the middle of grief to understand what is for the best at that time.)
• At least she is out of her misery. (In that location is a time and place to talk about the illness and expiry but a sympathy card ought to reverberate on comfort, not the illness.)
• When my so-and-then died . . . (This is not nigh you.)
• He was a real S.O.B. (All relationships are complicated. Sympathy cards are non the time and place to discuss the negative aspects of the deceased to help ease the pain of others.)
• If you need annihilation, but call. (Although this is generous, most who are grieving will not call if they need something. Instead, anticipate what they need and offer that.)

Should I Include Money in a Sympathy Card?

In some cultures, generations, and family traditions, putting money inside a sympathy card is customary. Funeral costs are expensive.

Money inside a sympathy card can significantly assistance with funeral costs. Peculiarly if the decease was sudden. Fifty-fifty if $20.00 is put into each card, the coin adds up rapidly. Families tin use the coin to pay off funeral costs or create a scholarships fund in the retentivity of the deceased. Sometimes families will donate coin towards inquiry or a cause that volition prevent others dying in a similar way.

During the visitation at the funeral home, in that location are ordinarily envelopes available for donations. You can practise this anonymously or put your name on the envelope. The envelopes are inserted into a lock box that volition be given to the family unit after the visitation.

Please note, the registration book at the funeral habitation offers a way to support the family unit in writing thanks notes, so it is important to write your proper noun and address legibly. This supports the family in writing thank-you notes. Family unit members may not accept all the addresses kept safely, or may non know where to look in regards to writing give thanks you lot notes after their loved one died.

Average Funeral Costs

Funeral costs vary between funeral homes, geographic areas, and choices regarding funeral procedures. If you're wondering if you should send money, remember the fee for the funeral director's services and the price for using the funeral domicile for the service, the cost for a casket or urn, gravesite or vault, grave liner or burial container, headstone, embalming or cremation, cost to dig the grave—not to mention the cost of the obituary, flowers, hearse, church, graveside services, clergy, death certificate, reception, printed materials, invitee book, and viewing visitation times.

It can easily price $ten,000 or more for funeral expenses.

Other Means to Support a Family in Mourning

• gift card to a eatery or Starbucks
• a babysitter
• take their canis familiaris for a walk or offering a gift menu to a kennel to accept their animals looked after for a day or ii
• a casserole or other comforting food
• gift card to a florist
• a donation to the church
• a donation to a foundation or enquiry
• a tree
• a plaque or a bench with deceased'southward proper noun on it
• name a star later on the deceased
• rake the leaves or mow their backyard

Questions & Answers

Question: What words can I put in a carte du jour to someone who's brother committed suicide? I didn't know the brother, and I've just met this person twice, but he's a proficient friend of a skillful friend.

Respond: This is a difficult notation to write. I suggest by first, acknowledging the lost.

Here are some ideas to help ease the pain (remember always to acknowledge the name of the person who is deceased):

"I am so, and then sad to hear about Ava'south death. I cannot imagine the turmoil and hurting y'all must be going through."

"This is an unbearable tragedy, and I am here for you to talk whenever you need to."

"Today does non make sense, tomorrow probably won't either, but the pain of this tragedy will not ever hurt every bit bad every bit it does today."

© 2012 Carly Sullens

nifty from Dwelling Sweetness Home on October 25, 2015:

wonderful quotes for the departed ones. I like" The world volition not be the aforementioned without Tony.:" makes the person peculiarly special

Carly Sullens (author) from St. Louis, Missouri on February 18, 2015:

brsmom, thank you. I am glad you found information technology useful. Give thanks y'all for sharing.

Diane Ziomek from Alberta, Canada on Feb 13, 2015:

I always have trouble writing in a sympathy card, and writing is my career. This couldn't have come at a better time for me, every bit I accept an upcoming funeral for my dandy-aunt. I am sharing this one with my followers.

Carly Sullens (writer) from St. Louis, Missouri on April 21, 2014:

Thank you Kenneth. I appreciate you stopping by and leaving a comment. I volition go along to bank check out your writings. I am already a follower of you. :)

Kenneth Avery from Hamilton, Alabama on Apr 19, 2014:

Carly, I am glad that I revisited this again. I took a look at the section on HOW Not to write things in sympathy cards and it is true. I accept received many with mostly these aforementioned examples.

This is a wonderful hub. A great read. Very helpful and informative. I voted upwards and away. I admimre your writing manner and know that merely expert things volition happen to you with works like this.

I am following you lot and left you some fan mail. I cordially invite y'all to check out my hubs and exist a follower of mine. That would brand my day.

Peace.

1000.

Kenneth Avery from Hamilton, Alabama on Nov 05, 2013:

Dearest Carly,

Daughter, you nailed it. Voted upward and abroad on this very-nice, in-depth hub.

Love how you express yourself.

Keep up the great piece of work.

Bronwen Scott-Branagan from Victoria, Commonwealth of australia on June 20, 2013:

Cheers for writing such a helpful commodity. Sometimes we but get then stuck for how to express what nosotros want to say. You have said it so beautifully.

Carly Sullens (author) from St. Louis, Missouri on June 07, 2013:

Thank you for stoping by epbooks. I am glad yous plant this promise useful.

Elizabeth Parker from Las Vegas, NV on June 06, 2013:

This is fantastic. I call up you've described how many of us experience but couldn't quite put into words. And - very smart to anticipate what the person grieving might demand. So truthful that most won't come out and enquire for aid.

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on April 18, 2013:

From feelings to funeral costs, y'all seem to cover everything. So thoughtful and so well presented.

catgypsy from the South on April 17, 2013:

Something I got a lot of when my parents passed (they were both in their lxxx's) was, "How one-time was your dad?" When I'd say 85, they'd say "Oh, well...he had a full life." Same with my mom. Information technology was and then painful hearing this, like considering they were onetime, it didn't thing and was to be expected. Keen hub!

dhairya on December 09, 2012:

this is very nice imformation

Vespa Woolf from Peru, South America on Oct 08, 2012:

This is very useful data. No matter how many times I've written a sympathy carte, I always have to review how to write one that is meaningful for each family unit. All your tips are valid and I've marked this for future reference. I simply wrote a sympathy bill of fare last month and I wish I'd had this valuable resources then. Thank you so much!

Dianna Mendez on September 20, 2012:

Voted upwardly for all the wonderful suggestions. This is certainly a helpful hub for those times of sorrow. Love the gift ideas and the posting of the costs. WEll done!!!

Beak Holland from Olympia, WA on September eighteen, 2012:

Excellent resource Carly! Practiced to have yous back! I know these are great suggestions because they come from a compassionate woman.

stillwaters707 from Texas on September 18, 2012:

Thanks for such usable examples. It's a tough task, and so it helps those who want to offer comfort and don't know how.

Ruth Pieterse on September eighteen, 2012:

Such a well thought out hub. Voted upward and useful.

Life Nether Construction from Neverland on September 17, 2012:

it was her time...at least she was out of her misery..it'due south for the best.. that'due south what i got when my grandma died and i feel like punching that person on the face..you're right that we should non include this while symphatizing. it's not actually good to hear. thanks also for the suggestions.

Janine Huldie from New York, New York on September 17, 2012:

Carly, I have pinned this to be able to refer back to, considering sometimes the right wods are hard to come up past when has indeed lost a loved one. Your article really does give some perfect examples and will definitely being using them when I do need. Accept of form voted and shared besides!

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Source: https://holidappy.com/greeting-cards/What-To-Write-Inside-A-Sympathy-Card

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